Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Why I Don't LOVE The Pool..

So we've frequented the local pool a few times this week. 3 times to be exact.. which is 3 more times then we attended last summer. (Something about the random rash-infusing virus that was plaguing pools in our general area.. turned us off.. a tad.)
But in general, I've been a fan of pools most of my life. They represent summer and tan lines, and a good virgin pina colada when there's a fancy "pool bar". We had neighborhood pools for the first 8 years of marriage and our kids have grown up with pink cheeks and pruny skinned fingertips and toes. So I'm not sure why, just recently.. when I focus on what a public pool is (a huge cesspool of bathwater, essentially..) I have a hard time not throwing up in my throat a little.
MAYBE it's because when I do think too hard about it.. I come up with a mental list of all the things I know to be somewhere IN that clear sparkling, oh-so-inviting, TUB of humans.
Sweat. Lots of it.
Spit. Even more of that.
Boogers. Seriously.
Dandruff. Think about it.
Scabs. Soggy, soggy, disintegrating, scabs.
And hair. BOTH kinds.
I know.
There's chlorine too.
I get it.
But I don't believe in it.
Don't trust it.
And don't accept that it's capable of doing what would be necessary to kill,dissolve and destroy the items above--
without killing us all in the process.
So there.
Sorry to poop on your summer fun.
(Oh yeah.. POOP. And PEE. Add those to the list.)
But it's not all bad. I will admit, though truly disgusting.. there is an upside to turning the kids loose for hours to frolic in others mucus and secretions.

This is how you find them way before bedtime.
May all your little ones avoid various types of disease.. and get tuckered out too.
Happy tan lines to all.


Kristina said...

Oh Katy, I am feeling the same way this year about public pools. I went a couple of times and as I looked around at the 100 toddlers in diapers and felt the oh so warm water, I was pretty grossed out! Oh well, just another reason why I must get a pool!!!

Brynne said...

Okay, that grossed me out A LOT. I choose not to think about that stuff, especially as I am in the pool 3-4 days per week, and will be there again in just about 7.5 hours. Hopefully I'll have some awesome dreams between now and then and will forget all about the soggy scabs you mention. And snot. And pubes.

Ronda said...

You are hilarious! I am glad that I am not the only one who thinks about all that nasty stuff in the pools! GROSS! I have a hard time with it, but the kids just love it so much don't they!

Colette said...

That is precisely why I'm really having a hard time taking my kids to the pool. I need to do it before the summer is over. Maybe next week.......

Clarice said...

I have to not think about that stuff or I would also avoid the pool at all times. That is one reason I am happy that Cooper refuses to put his head in the water. :) I do love the side-effect of long naps or no fighting the bed time!

ALO said...

Oh my sweet cousin...I actually just sat down at my computer to write my very own blog about the horrors of our public pool! It is all those things and I'm sure a hundred more I haven't thought of. I just chalk it up to being 38 years old, a little OCD, and definitely my mother's daughter. Backyard plastic swim pool anyone?

emma jo said...

I am with you all the way on that one...ditto ditto and ditto to it all. Besides, you had me at scabs and dandruff...but you forgot warts, moist pool decks and bandaids.

Leese said...

I am right there with ya! not to mention the total stress of running around after a toddler who doesn't quite understand that if you float face down in the water, you can't breathe, and that is not funny! i'm a big fan of the backyard tub full of grass, mud and bugs, but only about 8"of water!

Jocelin said...

Well, isn't this just a kick in the teeth for people who love to lay around at the pool on hot summer afternoons. Scab soup. Thanks so much.

Abby said...

THANK YOU! I get so much crap for being a germ-a-phobe, and I really don't think I'm being unreasonable. Public pools are DISGUSTING. People simply aren't grossed out by their own bodily functions, so they freely share them with all. Gross. I completely agree and feel diseased when I am done...and add all manner of VDs to your list--really. I once saw something too gross to mention floating in our apartment complex pool...and people's barey-covered nasty private parts just out and about. Gag. ok I'm done.

Heather Zwygart said...

Okay that was so gross. I'm with Brynne we practically live in the pool thses days and I am just not going to think about it! I know total denial!

Derek and Bre said...

I was up late on the computer and it made me think of you! I miss seeing you on Sundays, I hope Soph will remember how cool I am :) At least I can still be entertained by you through the blog. I'll take all the Katy I can get.

the wrath of khandrea said...

oh, but does YOUR pool have "doggie paddle"?

and by "doggie" i mean actual dogs? one special night set aside for the community to bring the DOGS to the pool?

no? call me when you can really compete, sister.

Jen said...

Katy, I can't agree more! While we are on the subject of disgusting things-the play tubes at McDonald's gross me out more than public pools. At least at the pool they might use cholrine but I'm pretty sure no one is climbing in those tubes to clean them! It was so good to chat the other day, miss you!

me and him said...

i decided earlier this week that i would venture out to the community pool on thursday {tomorrow}for the first time this year. it has been the only thing i look forward too. something to get me out of the house, somewhere to show off my sexy lil swimsuit cover that i so love and somewhere to get me some summer sun!, i'm second guessing myself.

gracie said...

Thanks Katy! I've been beating myself up for weeks for being a horrible mom and not taking the kiddos to the pool. I feel so much better about it now~I'm actually a wonderful mom sparing her kids all the nastiness! You've made my day!