Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Why I Don't LOVE The Pool..

So we've frequented the local pool a few times this week. 3 times to be exact.. which is 3 more times then we attended last summer. (Something about the random rash-infusing virus that was plaguing pools in our general area.. turned us off.. a tad.)
But in general, I've been a fan of pools most of my life. They represent summer and tan lines, and a good virgin pina colada when there's a fancy "pool bar". We had neighborhood pools for the first 8 years of marriage and our kids have grown up with pink cheeks and pruny skinned fingertips and toes. So I'm not sure why, just recently.. when I focus on what a public pool is (a huge cesspool of bathwater, essentially..) I have a hard time not throwing up in my throat a little.
MAYBE it's because when I do think too hard about it.. I come up with a mental list of all the things I know to be somewhere IN that clear sparkling, oh-so-inviting, TUB of humans.
Sweat. Lots of it.
Spit. Even more of that.
Boogers. Seriously.
Dandruff. Think about it.
Scabs. Soggy, soggy, disintegrating, scabs.
And hair. BOTH kinds.
I know.
There's chlorine too.
I get it.
But I don't believe in it.
Don't trust it.
And don't accept that it's capable of doing what would be necessary to kill,dissolve and destroy the items above--
without killing us all in the process.
So there.
Sorry to poop on your summer fun.
(Oh yeah.. POOP. And PEE. Add those to the list.)
But it's not all bad. I will admit, though truly disgusting.. there is an upside to turning the kids loose for hours to frolic in others mucus and secretions.

This is how you find them way before bedtime.
May all your little ones avoid various types of disease.. and get tuckered out too.
Happy tan lines to all.