Sunday, May 2, 2010

Me Read Good One Day..

So... to put it bluntly (which I'm known to do on occasion..) I don't, read, much.
I mean-- don't get me wrong.. I'm first to grab a shampoo bottle if I have a minute in the "lou" (that was the classiest word I could think of for it. Oddly,"the crapper" came to mind first, but seemed offensive, and not very lady-like..) and I thoroughly enjoy a NOT outdated People magazine now and then at a doctors office (where I have learned to take it IN to the actual examination room, cause we all know once in,that's gonna be another good 15 minutes of alone time. I just realized why I look forward to such appointments..)
BACK to my point.
On my "what to do with ALL that free time" list.. somehow working out, sitting around talking to girlfriends, and watching mindless t.v. shows in the quiet dark of my house.. ALL seem to trump, the reading.
SO, when a friend suggested I join her book club, I stiffened.. declined.. and then cautiously, and with great hesitation, thought about attempting to do something that MIGHT just use my brain cells for something other than 5th grade math homework..
and decided I was IN.
Just walking into Borders, I already felt slightly more intelligent as a person.
Look at me. I'M buying a book. I've heard about people that do this kinda thing.. and now I'm right here with 'em.
I was doing something I'd never done before. I was going to attend a Book club. I was committed to reading a whole book.. by a certain date.. and it was gonna be rad.
Then I saw the cover.
Manhunt: The twelve day chase for Lincolns killer.
A historic novel.
I shuddered.
No hot vampires? No make-out scenes? Not even a chance at relateable female banter about skinny jeans and no-fat yogurt?? Seriously?
The cover was a dark red, and had a vintage sketch of a guy with a gun pointed at a creepy-looking rendition of Lincolns head.
And it was thick. Over 300 pages thick.
And cost like, $18.00 dollars.
It took everything in me to heavy-heartedly drag it to the cashier and PAY for it.
But I was DOING this. If it KILLED me. (Can you imagine if it did?? Kill me? Everyone was like, "She seemed so healthy and full of life.. and then she got into this reading thing.. and she just really went down hill from there. She was bored I tell you. And in the end.. bored, to DEATH.")
No. It would not kill me. I was GOING to have more to discuss with people other than who hooked up on Greys Anatomy, but I wasn't gonna like it.
Let's just say the first few pages had me doubting my ability to stay strong.
I suddenly had ADD and Restless Leg Syndrome.
I could NOT focus.
All kinds of dates and historic hoo-ha being laid out for the story.
I panicked.
I had to read sentences two and three times to absorb them.
COULD I read a real book?
I wondered.
I stuck with it. Plowed through.
(O.K. I'm only on Chapter 3.)
But what do ya know if I haven't learned more about Lincoln in 40 pages, than I've ever learned about all the other Presidents combined. (Which modestly, I will acknowledge, isn't much. Try to contain your surprise.)
It is almost, dare I say, a bit fascinating even??
I may.
I'm not saying it's gotten much easier to pick up.
My early morning gym time and late night t.v. recordings still win out most days.. but I am determined to ride it out.. get r' done.. and finish an educated, sophisticated, "well-read" woman.

Maybe that's pushin' it.

I'll just try to finish it.


Candice said...

I could read your posts all day long!!

Jana said...

You are so dang funny! I love reading your mind!!

Denise and Nathan said...

that's hilarious! I don't read "real" books either. kinda of boring, the internet and tv are always way more appealing, yep!

Heather Zwygart said...

You have a gift Katy and it is with words I thought the other day I need to hire you to write my blog posts! It sounds much better when you say it!

Brynne said...

You are hilarious. It's almost like I just had a conversation with you, but we didn't get side-tracked in conversation and interrupted with my random thoughts, because it all ties back to yours--way to complete it! And I am so very proud of you and your newfound intelligence! :) (I, too, am currently reading a book. Impressed? We's gettin ta be da smart street now! Mine is very hard to put down though. I just have a hard time finding 5 minutes that aren't already spoken for to actually read it although I continually find myself drawn to it!) Thanks for entertaining me for a few minutes, time to get back to work!

elimy said...


Emma Jo said...

You are hilarious. I am going back to read your post again just to be entertained...and by the way, reading blogs totally counts towards being a reader so you've got that. I hope you enjoy the book and the book club (which you may find, with any luck, that its like most book clubs where you discuss the book for 30 minutes and the rest of the time is girl gab and treats...which hopefully will be sugar cookies in the shape of lincoln's hat or something.)
PS I read shampoo bottles too.

Amy Lynn said...

I like to stick with the picture books...short, sweet, and lots of pictures for my ADD. Books with 300 pages are scary but I am impressed. I'm with Emily...if you're lucky it will be goodies and girl talk...if they actually discuss the book, then you need to find a new book club.